Posts filed under ‘Dumpstas’

Dumpsta Players Tomorrow


I said before that the show is like Lost Boys meets Breakfast Club. I think it’s more Buffy. I’m playing a sexy vampire girl who kills a dumb jock.
DJ K-Tell & The Dumpsta’ Players present:
Wed. February 21st
11pm Showtime — sharp!
@ Bob and Barbara’s
1509 South Street
Info: (215)-545-4511
$1.99 cover, 21+


High school pressure can make ANYONE feel trapped in a bubble, but for
Bobby, the bubble is all too literal. Due to a rare condition, he’s spent
his entire sixteen years encased in an antiseptic plastic bubble. He can’t
do the types of things normal teens take for granted. As a result, his
social life is a joke. He’s the punchline for his shallow friends, and no
one seems to understand him. And forget dating — with his options
limited, he hasn’t even figured out if he’s gay or straight. Despite an
attraction, his would-be boyfriend Shane is too embarrassed to stand by
his guy.

And then we meet Sadie — a sexy misfit who “gets” him and sees beyond his
plastic shell. Or does she? This romance is definitely too good to be
true, and it’s a matter of time before Bobby will have to make some real
choices. All that’s standing in the way is that damn bubble.

Will he choose love or let love choose him?
Will he separate the shady from the real?
Is there danger lurking for Bubble Boy?
And why do kids keep disappearing near the mall?

Find out whether the teens will be dancing in heaven — or hell in —
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February 20, 2007 at 3:18 pm Leave a comment

Mug and Vogue


When the times with Ricky are good, they are excellent. And I’ll follow him everywhere, even if it’s a trip to the grocery store, because he can turn anything into an adventure that involves endless mugging, voguing, goofing, and fixing. Last night we went to someplace more exciting than the grocery store, the goth night at Shampoo, which I’ve visited twice, since I’ve never really been a goth and I always worked Thursday mornings.

Our friend Billy guest DJ’s with Kathy Fadigan in the 80s room, which is a total trip, because it’s all ages. Young shirtless gay boys and punk rock girls bounce around to songs made when they weren’t even born yet. I found myself appreciating Expose like I never did as a teenager, and really wanting to hear a segue into Taylor Dayne’s “Tell It To My Heart” or The Cover Girls. Instead Billy played a Kylie song and it was perfect.

I love the goth night because it’s totally not “cool,” not hipster, and even the worst fashion mishaps are at least original and interesting. I like being in the company of people dressed like Aeon Flux, Tank Girl, the Queen of Hearts, 50s noir starlets, and those whose clothing and shoes could double as weapons. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

January 25, 2007 at 1:21 pm Leave a comment

Where My Girls At


L-R: Slavid, Jimmi, Lance


Jimmi doing Streisand’s “Main Event” with John D as a boxer


Lance is pretty in pink as Dusty Springfield.

Earlier this month, a few of the Dumpstas played Equality Forum’s opening party at Woody’s, the big gay bar in town. These pics are taken by Nathalie Hope McDonald, a writer for City Paper and Philly Mag who shares about half the city in friends with me, but we just finally met that night. Unfortunately, I was only able to hear every third word of what she was saying, so hopefully we can talk in person without the thumpa-thumpa drowning us out.

I was honored to be asked, as a bio female, to perform with the queens as Mrs Miller, who is getting quite draggy these days. Her latest outfit was a green sparkly blouse and green hotpants.


Me as Mrs Miller at our April best-of show. Photo by Aaron.

Woody’s is kind of a fun place for a straight girl to hang out because it’s an escape from straight boy rock scene world, and the dramas and catty gossip seem more glamorous to someone on the outside. Plus I really enjoy watching all the Goldfrapp and Benassi Brothers videos, and tons of other weird cool stuff you never see on MTV or VH-1. But for the gay boys I know, sometimes it can be frustrating if they want to do more than go to the gym and shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.

While we got a good reception, much of the crowd has rather conservative, mainstream tastes and are not into drag. Even fewer of them understood what was up with my Mrs Miller character, and granted, she’s hard for me to bring out of the filthy context of Bob and Barbara’s, but that was still half the fun.

Here’s some more pics of us on our flickr page.

Oh and also, I goofed somewhere back there. Lori Hill actually runs the Culture Shock thing at City Paper. Brian Howard is probably doing 800 other equally important things as I blog about drag queens.

May 23, 2006 at 10:29 pm 1 comment

My Quarterly Blog Post

Andy the boyfriend and his nephew Raimund

Sorry for my long absence. Apologies to all five of you. Mostly I’ve been too busy, tired, depressed or agitated to post, and my new rule for Bees is that I only rant about my personal life entertainingly. If it’s not funny to anyone, I’m not putting it here. With that said, I’m tempted to take down a bunch of entries from this blog, which are too personal and just poorly written. Some things just don’t belong on the internet and I’ve been very anti-internet lately.
Anyway, I’ll share the good news instead. Andy the Boyfriend is going to be shacking up with me and Ant here at the Two Street Rock Critic House. His love of pizza and bad cable TV and sympathy for the Shamrock Pub will make him the perfect resident here. And rock critics (even underacheiving ones like me and Ant) need civilians to hang with; you can always tell which writers are only talking to other writers. Andy’s also bringing his dog, a Beagle Lab named Chelsea, which will eliminate the need for me to ever sweep the kitchen floor ever again.
Yes, I’m gonna finally clean up the third floor and hang up all my clothes and deal with my office crap so the poor boy has a place to put his stuff. It’s really happening!
Otherwise, my life moves between lazy and busy. The Dumpsta Players did three shows in three months: a best-of, a benefit, and Prom Trash. We raised over $3,000 for our May 6 benefit for The Bryson Institute of The Attic Youth Center for L/G/B/T/Q Youth and SMART, Inc: sisterhood mobilized for Aids/HIV Research & Treatment. It’s nice to know that being a freak can help others in a real way.

For Prom Trash, Cathy and I entered as Punk Rock Siamese Twins. We put a trash bag over ourselves, Cathy wore a red wig that looks like my hair, and we wore Nancy Spungen-style make-up and shouted obscenities and spit up Pabt’s and pistachio pudding at everyone. We came in second to Slavid’s reigning queen, Amanda Playwythe, who showed up with her elderly husband (brilliantly played by her boyfriend), Anna Nicole-style.

Speaking of Nancy Spungen, I finally read And I Don’t Want To Live This Life, her mother’s story about Nancy’s short troubled life and notorious death. I believe that Nancy was “nauseating,” troubled, and brilliant; she’s a human being after all. It was such a heartbreaking read, since she never got the mental health care she needed. I wonder what she would be like today if there were more options available to her. I wish she’d been in a band instead of a groupie, at least that would have been place to direct her fury. Would she be like Courtney Love, alternately falling down and getting back up again into her 40s? I can’t imagine being a member of the Spungen family. After reading the book, I hoped that her sister Suzy went on to be a famous artist. She was the one I identified with the most: loving and hating and revering and reviling someone all at the same time.

Oh and finally, Maria posted Plain Parade’s entire history here. Commentary forthcoming. As always, hugs to anyone who played a show with us, spent their hard-earned dollars on our shows, wrote about us, or told us to keep fightin the good fight — especially during our dark Doc Watson’s daze. It keeps me coming back year after year.

May 22, 2006 at 6:54 pm 2 comments

Move Closer To the World My Friends

See “Chatty” Cathy Heard as a double threat: writer and star drag king!
Also, vintage Action News fans: I’m playing the Green Grocer. Fresh VEG-tab-les, anyone?

DJ K-Tell & The Dumpsta’ Players present:
Wed. February 15th
11pm Showtime — sharp!
@ Bob and Barbara’s
1509 South Street
Info: (215)-545-4511
99 cent cover


This Valentine’s Day, instead of flowers the Dumpsta’
Players say it with brainwashing, betrayal, revenge
and Tuna Helper as we return to the gritty world of
newly “out” Officer Manley.

After putting away vicious underworld queen Black
Betty, Manley whisked troubled boy toy, Junkie Luv,
away to the quiet life in Pennsauken. Their facade of
domesticity shattered as Junkie Luv relapsed into
doping and hustling, driving Junkie Luv back on the

Manley reunites with his old boss, curmudgeonly Sgt.
Fish, to track down his missing lover. Meanwhile, a
sinister Mummers cult has adopted Junkie Luv and
raided The Action News studio! A tragic chain of
events will spark a cataclysmic showdown. See who will
live to tell the latest tale of Officer Manley and

“Valentine’s Violation”!

February 14, 2006 at 12:17 am Leave a comment

My Favorite New Website


My Dumpsta friend Jimmi, who has played both my mother and daughter in shows, has a new website. Refined, indeed.

January 3, 2006 at 10:11 pm Leave a comment

Totes Blogging in 2006


Pic by James, who has the same birthday as me. See more of them here.

This post is dedicated to former Philadelphian and record store queen Jackie Zahn, who moved to Austin years ago and then showed up at my party totally by surprise. I always totally worshipped her and was honored that she gave me the time of day while she lived here, since she had more glamorous indie rock drinking partners at the time. And what was the first thing out of her mouth when she saw me? “Update your blog!”

This year was my first New Year’s at Mummer’s Central, and for my neighborhood, New Year’s Eve lasts for about 48 hours. How do these people drink and play music and yell and scream and squirt silly string on end? Such stamina. Seriously.


The Two Street Rockin Rock Critic Eve started and ended with an obscene amount of booze, from about 5 people until the hours of 11 and 12:30 when it seemed like 50. And in between that time, me, Cathy, and Amanda decided to have a show on my bed — for ourselves. Since I never hang up my clothes, I started putting my clothes on Cathy. I think at one point she was wearing about six articles of my clothing at once. Amanda tried on a gold sparkly dress that has only fit me when I lost weight on Weight Watchers or acid reflux. And then I put on Amanda’s blouse.


There was a disconnect I guess. Some people thought that my bedroom was the Get High Room. Other people thought it would be the Naked Girls Make Out Room (which was so not happening, the show was for us to goof on ourselves). Then one of my guy friends got really excited when I let him wear one of my skirts as a wrap and an elastic blue flowered skirt to wear in place of his pants, which he offered to me as a swap and I turned down. He was so elated to wear the blue skirt that I let him wear it home. I’m sure he woke up the next day wondering why he had a skirt on under his pants.

Out of the kindness of my heart, and because I am dork-identified, I invite socially awkward people to my party, if they are part of the general cluster of my friends, even if I’m not all that close to them. I am going to have to start rethinking that policy, since all of the men that I’m thinking of are getting too old to get drunk and turn Beavis and Butthead Dorkazoid. At least three of them put their hands in yummy peanut pasta that Trishy made and shoved it in their pockets. Two of them could not remember to close the door to my house after re-entering a couple of times. At least one of them offended my housemate and this is a man who will tolerate Fred Durst and R Kelly, so that is saying something.

But nothing was irreparably damaged. Four houseguests and one dog successfully slept here.

The next day we walked down Two Street over to JT and Helen’s house, and watched pure Mummery in action. Maria took some amazing photos on Helen’s new camera, which will hopefully be posted somewhere.


January 3, 2006 at 2:03 am 3 comments


Pictured: John as Dino and Jimmi as Tiny Coletta in “Tiny Coletta’s Fashion Fiasco,” March 2004

This Wednesday is my 100th birthday and also the night of the next
Dumpsta Players. I’m planning a low-key meet-up at TRITONE, 1508 South
Street from 8-10. At 11, follow me across the street to BOB AND
BARBARA’S for the special holiday edition of the Dumpsta Players, where
I star as the daughter of a very dysfunctional family.

Do one, or do both!

Here’s the info for the show:

DJ K-Tell & The Dumpsta’ Players present:
Wed. December 21st
11pm Showtime — sharp!
@ Bob and Barbara’s
1509 South Street
Info: (215)-545-4511
99 cent cover


This Christmas, Come to Southwest Philly, to spend your Holidays with
hefty heifer Tiny Coletta and her clan. Tiny’s daughter, Luralayne is back
from Fat Camp, Dino is hooked up with hot party girl and Miss Prom Trash
2005, Amanda Playwythe. But it ain’t gonna be just any Christmas! The
Bitch Beach Tag Lady is plotting her revenge! What is this about Tiny’s
dead husband and whatever happened to Baby Loretta? Christmas family
dysfunction is ready to blow as grudges get settled! Get your Christmas
candy and have a slice of pie and enjoy–
Tiny Coletta’s Hefty Holidays!

December 17, 2005 at 7:12 pm Leave a comment

Something That Makes Me Smile Everyday


The infamous Chardonna Jenkins from The Dumpsta Players has a blog. Watch out, y’all. That bitch is funny.

December 8, 2005 at 12:32 am Leave a comment

I’m Back


Image courtesy of Miss Pinkybear

This is me in the men’s room of Pure, where a few of the Dumpstas ended up at Freddy’s birthday party last Friday. It was either the two-dollar drinks or the thumpa-thumpa disko that drove us in there. I’m paying homage to my Mrs. Miller character with my goofy face. It’s cropped out but I actually am trying to hike up my dress to make it look authentic, except it didn’t get very far because that dress is very tight. I can’t even bike in it. Which is what defines a party dress, I think.

If I get too busy to blog again, at least you will look at this photo instead of a pic of Babs N Barry. Sorry about that.

Big thanks to those who came to the Plain Parade 3rd Anniversary bash on Saturday, and anyone who regularly helps us out otherwise by coming to our shows, playing them, writing about them, or hosting our events. And finally big ups to my partner for doing much of the legwork for the comp and all the bands for coming through. And fuck all y’all who can’t take a joke. If that’s the one thing in the world that you can find to be mad about, consider yourself lucky.

November 21, 2005 at 11:06 pm 2 comments

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