Archive for September, 2005

The Horrors

Two of the worst things I heard today:

babs

Unlike Babs, Barry Gibb does not look like buttah. He looks like he’s ready to bite her face off. And as for Babs, I prefer to watch her in movies, particularly ones from the 60s where she gets to wear lots of eyeliner and jaunty hats.

rockstar

In case you didn’t know, these are all the cheeseballs that auditioned to be the new Michael Hutchence, which I didn’t really think was that hard. Ironically, there are no INXS songs on here, just bad karaoke that’s supposed to “rock” more than American Idol. New rule: If you’re gonna cover “American Woman,” do the Guess Who version complete with the intro: “American woman, gonna mess your mind, say a, say m..”Even Lenny Kravitz is bored with his own version. I think he only wrote the song so he coud have an excuse to hang out with Heather Graham in a video.

I guess I fell behind with blogging for the hundredth time. Next time, I promise I will answer Freddy’s interview.

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September 20, 2005 at 11:20 pm 6 comments

Dumpsta Horror Picture Show

dumpsta

Image from Miss Pinkybear

Come see my stomach explode as Mikey the Life Cereal kid.

DJ K-Tell & The Dumpsta Players present:
THE DUMPSTA HORROR PICTURE SHOW

Wed. September 21
11PM showtime — sharp!
@ Bob and Barbara’s
1509 South Street
Info: (215)-545-4511
www.dumpstaplayers.org
99 cent cover!

“Do you want to know a secret?”

This is how gossip grows from its seed. Sometimes that seed is harmless, and other times… well, let’s just say that some seeds are best buried in the ground. Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can build an evil empire.

Tonight, enter that empire as we meet Siouxsie as she embarks on an adventure into the realm of the bizarre, where urban legends are made and twisted into a neverending string of terror. Tales of crocodiles in the sewers and mysterious missing kidneys are quickly spread in today’s technological age. Watch as Siouxsie’s friends prey upon her fears to a soundtrack ranging from Broadway to Rob Zombie and Norwegian Glam. But while she gets terrorized by the songs which caused even you to have to turn on the light late at night, our heroine has something up her sleeve… Payback is a bitch! You’ll meet a host of characters from your favorite urban legends come to life as the Dumpsta Players present..
The Dumpsta Horror Picture Show

Only pop music can save them now…

September 19, 2005 at 10:01 pm Leave a comment

OMG

whores

One of my readers has requested that I return to talking about my boring life again. “You can’t abandon us,” he said. Well, even if us equals one reader, then Raised By Bees is here to please.

Okay, remember the time that Plain Parade got offered someone’s record collection for admittance into a show? Well now a nice young man on myspace is offering to give us rim jobs. We never expected anyone to kiss our ass, much less lick it. Not even bands.

Mind you, he sent this message to the Plain Parade account, not my account, where the pervy requests usually turn up:

I’m in Philly… I found your profile edgy and interesting… have a look at my profile and lemme know if you’re interested in a sexual hook-up (I give the best rim-jobs)… Peace.

The Buttman is a 32-year-old from our fair city, who thinks it’s funny to insert the word “cock” into Bush’s speeches. He didn’t seem to grasp that he was not writing to that kind of business (though we’d probably make more money), and, we don’t even have our photo on the main page. It’s a pic of the aforementioned April bartering letter. Perhaps it was the “swinger” and “bi” choices in our profile? In any event, it was the only time I’ve seen the words “rim job” and “peace” used in the same place.

In the meantime, all I got in my inbox was a friend request from a 37-year-old woman from Florida who writes poetry to her cats.

As a result of this post, I’m sure my spam will get more interesting.

September 8, 2005 at 9:36 pm 10 comments

Heartbreaking

sad

Leonard Thomas, 23, cries after a SWAT team burst into the flooded home he and his family were living in on Monday, Sept. 5, 2005.

AP Photo/Rick Bowmer (from Nola.com)

bush

I feel stupid blogging about anything else since Hurricane Katrina, its aftermath, and our government’s incompetence and negligence. I don’t have teevee, so Anthony and I take turns looking at the internet, compare notes, and just say “fuck.” As far as I know, I have no friends, family, or even readers anywhere in Katrina’s path. I’ve never even been to New Orleans or that part of the country before. All that history and humanity, washed away, left to die, buried with indifference. Homeland security, my ass.

Now I will talk in links:


Daphne’s New Orleans history

Pinky Bear describes Bush as the Nero of the 21st Century

The aptly-named Crooks and Liars gives ’em enough rope.


Brotherly Love Bin Drive

Hurricane Housing

Charity Navigator

September 5, 2005 at 10:08 pm Leave a comment


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