Archive for March, 2005

Phoenix of Suck

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Dozens Busted for Underage Drinking
CENTER CITY-March 20, 2005 A Center City pub is no longer in business after police discovered teenagers attending a party on an upper floor that wasn’t approved by city officials to hold people.

The owner of Doc Watson’s Pub was arrested for allegedly serving alcohol to nearly a hundred underage teens Friday night.

Brianne Swanson was one of 88 young people charged with underage drinking but claims she did not imbibe.

In addition to being charged with serving alcohol to minors, police say the club owner violated a number of building safety codes.

A judge will decide whether the club should be closed permanently.

To answer 59 Cent’s question, we laid it on thick in Valania’s piece, because we didn’t want any more drama (believe me, I’m merely scratching the surface here and in the PW piece), and the previous owner was still there. Now that he’s gone and out of the city, and the ones before that out of the country, I feel it’s safe to speak. Keep in mind, Doc Watsons is located in the Bermuda triangle of the young and Center City drunks (Irish Pub, Moriarty’s, Locust Bar), and each sucessive owner (since the original owner sold it in the late 90s and Cindy the fondly-remembered mid 90s booker left) has run the place into the ground or made money as sleazily as possible, like this latest travesty.

But after letting out a big Simpsons “ha-haaaaaaaaaaa,” Doc Watson’s will have the last laugh. In one incarnation or another, it will rise again in the future, like a phoenix of suck.

March 20, 2005 at 3:58 pm 1 comment

Karma is Real

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Ding-dong the witch is dead.

Maria and I worked for two years to try to make Doc Watsons fun, interesting, or at least, a tolerable place to see bands in Center City, to no avail.
They went through two sets of miserable management before finally ending up with this one, which allegedly physically assaulted a burlesque troupe. I’m convinced that the place is built on ancient Indian burial ground like the homes in Poltergeist. “You moved the headstones but you didn’t move the bodiiiiiiies!!!”

March 20, 2005 at 2:20 pm 1 comment

Godfearing Myspace

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A message that I just got:
Hi Pretty
I just stumbled on your profile and was really impressed.I think we can trigger a life lasting encounter cos ur profile gives the perfect idea of the person i wish to be with.I would love to chat with u do u have a yahoo messenger mine is (…) add me to ur 2 u soon. CHEERS!!!

Granted, this response to Maria’s nu-wave photo of me is better than being asked if I have Bell’s Palsy. However, if I were single and interested in triggering a life lasting encounter with Mr. Myspace, the dealbreaker is the use of the word “GODfearing” in almost every word of his profile. And his two favorite movies were Taxi and The Passion of the Christ. And he misspells “poems.”

I mean, a playa’s gotta play and all, but this leads me to believe that dude did not read my profile, as there is nothing Godfearing in it. I even purposely list my religion as “Jewish” to scare off the horny Xtians, which shouldn’t be very hard anyway. Perhaps he wanted a God-unfearing fake redhead Jewish girl just to round out his collection of diverse myspace beauties.

Either way, I have no idea what to say to him.

March 20, 2005 at 1:32 pm Leave a comment

Live from SXSW

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Amy Phillips reporting here, where they also used a couple of Maria’s photos!

March 19, 2005 at 1:15 pm Leave a comment

What I Remember From Wednesday

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Some highlights:

Cathy, the king of all drag kings, as Billy Ray Cyrus and one of the Temple of the Dog dudes. As the former, she looked part-hipster and part trashy 80s Northeast Philly dude, and as the latter, she could pass as a doorman for the Pontiac. Somehow, she brought all of these personas together, and that is the wonder that is Cathy.

Jimmi as the always-eating Carnie Wilson in Wilson Phillips, and Lance and Freddy’s catty drag as the anorexic sisters. He came out later as Nine Inch Nails and spanked Marni, who was a hysterical Linda Perry earlier in the show. Marni, I should add, has the best mommys in the company. Pixie was an adorable insane raver girl who interrupted “What’s Up” with a techno version.

Freddy, by the way, finally played a boy, his Jared Leto-esque character that he calls Mitchell. Mitchell appeared alongside Cathy in a very homoerotic rendition of Temple of the Dog, the way it was meant to be.

Scott, Amanda, and Trishy were very funny androgynous Hansons.

A Tibetan Monks into “Erotic” with Slavid as a cone-bra Madonna, eventually dueling with Carl as Courtney Love, which was amazing. I can’t describe it as well as these pics here.

Since I wasn’t in the regular show, I did Monica Lewinsky singing No Doubt’s “Just A Girl” with Cathy’s boyfriend James as Bill Clinton. Alternately punky and spazzy and girly and tease-y, though not as much as I would have if it were with Cathy in drag or one of the gay boys. I have too much girl loyalty to mess with someone else’s man and too much loyalty to my own man. I did feed him a McDonald’s french fry with my mouth, accidently almost put the lit end of a cigar in his mouth, and at the end, showed my flesh colored bra, which was by accident because I’d planned to show an elaborate red ruffly bra but accidentally left it at home. I realized that it looked like Janet from several rows back when Steve and Aaron bumrushed the “stage.” I also have the raunchiest mouth in the Dumpstas when it comes to sex (i.e. Mrs. Miller) but when it comes to showing flesh, I’m quite modest, so this was a big step for me.

Oh and the funnest part of the evening (f I had to pick just one) was watching Pixie’s boyfriend Brian (who usually does stage managing, door, and damn near everything else behind the scenes) perform with everyone for post-show and realizing he knew the songs and dance moves as well as or better than some of the people in the group (i.e. me). I love it when the Dumpsta boyfriends take the stage. I would like to see an all Dumpsta boyfriend review.

March 18, 2005 at 9:13 pm 1 comment

Stinkin 90s Playlist

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The Dumpstas show was ba-na-nas Wednesday night! I’ve just recovered enough to write something about it today.

Here is my very short, late-night playlist. In trying to keep with the 90s theme of things that were fun, danceable, and not evil, it was a challenge, because in the 90s, I was not listening to anything vaguely fun (except for riot grrrl) or even vaguely danceable, until I lost my shit in the late 90s and as a result, sold all my Touch and Go (sorry Cap’n)/Drag City/Chicago-Louisville axis/math-rock/post-rock/pigfucker/dude-rock CD’s, and stretched out and waited for the Slits/X-Ray Spex revival, only to get The Rapture and snotty New York people with bad haircuts and coke on their noses.

Played right before last call, this vague order:
TLC – “Creep”
Luscious Jackson – “Energy Sucker”
Len – “Steal My Sunshine”
Monie Love – “It’s A Shame”
Cibo Matto – “Know Your Chicken”
Missy Elliott – “The Rain”
Solex – “One Louder Solex”

If I’d played longer, it would have just turned into a Sugar Town playlist. These items were on the transom:

Rondelles – You hair is full of grease, your head is full of lies, lies!
The Vaselines (reissued in the 90s, cheating I guess)
Bjork – “Army of Me” The best song of hers, hands down.
The Donnas – something from the first album
Helium – “What Institution Are You From?”
Shonen Knife – most likely “Twist Barbie,” again re-issued in the 90s
Elastica – most likely “Stutter”
Sinead O’Connor – “Jump in the River” (and from there, she jumped into oblivion, still one of my fave Sinead songs).
Bikini Kill – most likely “Demi-Rep” or “Rebel Girl”
Stereolab – “Pack Yr Romantic Mind”
Boss Hog – “Winn Coma”
Everything But the Girl
PJ Harvey – Stella-marie you’re my star!
Saint Etienne
Bis – something from the Teen C Power EP
Breeders, of course!
Le Tigre (first album is from 99)
Liz Phair (her cover of “Turning Japanese”, as my copy of Exile is exiled in an unknown place now).
Bratmobile – most likely “Cool Schmool” or “Cherry Bomb”
Autoclave – “Dr Seuss”
Blake Babies – “I’m Not Your Mother”

Did I leave out tons of stuff? Of course. That set was only gonna be for a half-hour anyway. And, I pulled CD’s off my shelf minutes before I left the house.

But if you think about it, most of the bad or joyless music of the ’90s was made by dudes, both major and indie, unless you count the whole Lilith Fair/Alanis, which was a triumph in getting women on the radio and in the driver’s seat economically, but musically, no fun. But seriously though, I’d listen to my playlist above Pavement or Slint or Sebadoh (or any of my male 90s faves) in a heartbeat.

Though I might be convinced to have a Math Rock Dance Party if Joe Paone showed up and Maria DJ’ed. It would be a party of three, but one for the ages.

March 18, 2005 at 8:22 pm 1 comment

Alien, Chicken, Baby

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Yesterday was a good day. After going to the dentist, I got to see my nephews who are starting to look more like babies, and less like aliens. According to my mother, the stage of baby creepiness starts with alien, then chicken, and then finally baby. They are three months old. My sister has their feeding and sleeping schedules down to a science, which is good as she returns to work next week. She’s an amazing human being, my hero. Her babies are so beautiful. They were responding to the sound of my voice, smiling, interested in everything. What it’s like to see everything through their eyes for the first time?On the train ride home, I found an undisturbed box of Ferrero Rocher “fine hazelnut chocolates.” I’m eating them now. They are fine.

March 17, 2005 at 5:12 pm 1 comment

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